Phew; Lots of emotions. The month started out with my son’s second birthday, celebrating with family. It’s ended with my mom having surgery for cancer [& being officially cancer free]. It also ended with me getting my official diagnosis of PTSD. Honestly, this month flew by. I’m ending the month relieved and so ready for another new month.

I’ve been dealing with so many medical issues over the last few years. It’s been so stressful to deal with. It’s actually wild to me. I hit 30 and basically fell apart. I finally got psychological testing done because I know I do not need an antipsychotic. My OB literally said why did they put you on that?

My psychiatrist referred me to have psychological testing done. I finally got that set up. Four straight hours of testing. I powered through it because I was so ready to have my diagnosis. Something I had been suspecting this whole time.

The question that is always the hardest to answer is: do you have any history of xyz? PTSD is a real b*tch. I’ve had quite a few traumatic experiences that have stayed with me and get triggered randomly. After becoming a mother, I relived some of my trauma that had been dormant for years… like it didn’t exist. When I quit therapy the first time, was the time that I opened up about it and didn’t go back after that, not until over a year later. I don’t expect others close to me to understand. This is something that does not define me; I love my life.

I’m just trying to stay healthy for my family. I’ve had a lot to work through and grow from. I know where the issues stem from and that’s all that matters. Now it’s time to actually heal from this. I’ve had my trauma timeline in my notes app for a few years, hah. I’m ready to put in the work. It was a rough year for me mentally but I survived through it. Now, what I really need is peace. Why bring that negativity into my life?

Life is full of the simple joys of just being;